This American Woman: A One-in-a-Billion Memoir

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The book in 3 sentences

• Zarna Garg is an Indian woman who grew up as an outspoken girl in a wealthy family in Mumbai. After her mother’s death, she resisted an arranged marriage, was abandoned by her father, and later moved to the United States to build a new life. Years later, after raising a family, she unexpectedly started doing stand-up comedy and turned her bluntness, immigrant experience, and family conflicts into a successful second career.
• It is part coming-of-age story, because she never truly overcame her childhood trauma until she embraced it through comedy, and part cultural education, because it taught me so much about Indian family dynamics and expectations. I had never watched her shows before, but now I am intrigued.
• She was telling her own life story, but I could see some parts being relatable to many people and others not so much. It turns out she married a hedge fund manager and was able to support a rather lavish Upper West Side lifestyle in Manhattan, send her kids to private schools in New York, and spend time exploring her “calling.” I can empathize with that in some ways, but it also probably speaks to a fairly small group of people—or perhaps not. Maybe many Indian women relate to these expectations and status markers in the same way familiar family and class tropes appear in K-dramas. Whatever the circumstances around her, it was inspiring to see a strong woman fearless enough to pursue her dream and actually get it.

My top 3 quotes

• I had opinions on everything from politics to movies to wars to women’s rights. None of it mattered. It would be like if your pet hamster had opinions.
• People will remind you every day that you are less than ideal. Don’t make it easier for them by pointing out your own flaws.
• “Zoya, my deepest hope is that this high school is going to be one of the hardest things that ever happens to you. Why would I say that? Because this way you can learn how to deal with hard things while you’re still safe at home, and Mom and Dad can support you all the way through it. We’ll be here for you every step of the way and we’ll make it as comfortable as possible. And you will go into your life knowing who you are and how to handle anything that comes at you. If you pull this off, this will be one of the biggest wins of your life.”
• Pain is my destiny and my company and my affinity. Embracing pain and not wasting time wondering “Why me?” will put you on the fast track to success.
• “You don’t get one million followers, you get one follower at a time, a million times.”